How to say no to SEX...teenage style

I’d like to introduce you to a young lady who has been a client of mine for some time.  She is strong, smart, creative and a bit cheeky.  You’ll know exactly what I mean when you read the below Facebook message, which she sent to her boyfriend who was pressuring her to have sex.  The first Facebook User in the image below is a 15 year old boy.  The second Facebook User is my client, who I have made anonymous.

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I talk about this young lady during many of the Sexual Health classes I teach in High Schools.  Why?  Teenagers need cool comeback lines which help them say ‘no’ when they are being pressured to have sex.  For many, saying ‘no’ doesn’t come easily.  We can’t assume they will handle pressure because they know right from wrong.  It is critical we equip teenagers to say ‘no’ in a way that works in their world and builds their confidence.

Below are a list of comeback lines you might want to discuss with your daughter.  Why don’t you send her this blog post and ask her what she thinks of them?

Pressure Line:  We have been together for a long time, why don’t you want to do it?
Comeback Line:  Because I’m not ready. If you are waiting around until I am you may be waiting a long time.

Pressure Line:  You won’t get pregnant.
Comeback Line:  I don’t want to take the risk.

Pressure Line:  Everyone else is doing it.
Comeback Line:  I’m not everyone.

Pressure Line:  If you loved me you would want to be with me.
Comeback Line: If you loved me you wouldn’t pressure me.

Pressure Line:  I won’t tell anyone.
Comeback Line: Everyone tells someone.

Pressure Line: I paid for dinner why won’t you just give it to me?
Comeback Line: A Big Mac doesn’t count as dinner.

Join the conversation: How important do you think comeback lines are?  Do you have a cool comeback line teenagers could use?

THANK YOU to everyone who has been passing these blog posts on, and for all your kind emails about their impact on your family.  If you have a topic you would like me to blog about email me at and I will respond to it as soon as I can.

If you would like to book me to speak at your school or community event email

MOST IMPORTANTLY if your teenager needs support from a psychologist, counsellor or mentor Youth Excel would love to help.


Michelle Mitchell